You are doing it wrong!!!

Projects, projects, projects. This week I have been talking about tasks and goal and all those lovely little "necessities" of life that we think we need to accomplish. Even the simplest of tasks, like making the morning coffee or tea, getting the newspaper,walking the dog, etc... We plan, execute, and then someone comes along as says, "UH, you are doing it wrong!"

The ego mind goes into a hissy...What?... me doing it wrong?, what?... me being judged? And so, the internal conversation begins. We start judging ourselves, but mostly we start judging the other person. "Who do they think they are?" "How dare they?" "I'd like to see them do a better job!"
I experienced this fully yesterday while engaging in a work/meditation project. The task...cleaning and priming a floor working with a group of spiritually minded people. Donating my time.

The project was done as a meditation going deep inside and staying in the present moment throughout the physicality of the project. I was really into it, deep in my space. Watching and being fully aware of the broom, the brush, and the roller.

Unfortunately, at every turn...I was doing it wrong. I wasn't scrubbing the floor enough, my primer coat wasn't heavy enough. If there was a problem, I was at the center of it. I was judged the whole day.

Thankfully, I only judged myself for one minute and it was early on in the project. For that one minute I thought, "Do these people really think I am lazy and am not into this practice?" This one thought brought me more deeply into what I was doing and even though the verbal and non verbal judgments continued throughout the day, I pressed on in my meditation. Most importantly, not judging myself, but doing my best.

What is judgment about in your life? Are people judging you or are you telling yourself stories that they are? Are the judgments coming from their mouths are are you putting those thoughts out there. Is this a common internal conversation? "They must think I am lazy?" "Do they really think I don't know what I am doing?"

This type of thought pattern makes us feel small and is a violent practice against ourselves. My experience, yesterday wasn't about being judged for the work I was doing. It was a learning experience about the stories I tell myself and how I judge me...or don't.

I just kept remembering this quote that I love. "Criticizing yourself is like breaking your own heart." (Swami Kripalu) How often do you break your own heart? Isn't it time to bring love to yourself and leave the judgements behind. Just do your best and the rest will fall into place..

Be good to yourselves and each other.
Best,
Thomas